[ kotone's silent for a long, slow moment as she digests what ai is saying. they really are the same, aren't they?
finally, she huffs out a wet chuckle, rubbing her eyes. none of this is funny, but— ]
... Ai, you—you really don't know how much you've already given me, do you? I... yeah, I feel the way I do, about you, but... [ the old honorific's gone. the comfort from wrapping this in their childhood dynamic is fraying fast. she trails off, closes her eyes, takes a breath. when she reopens them, she rests a hand on the back of ai's own. the words pour out like a steady rain. ]
If... if you ever think you can return it, I'll be here. Same if you decide you can't. Or if you're never sure. I'll be here no matter what. You, Saitou, Miyako, Ruby, Aqua, you're—you're all the closest thing I have to family. I owe you all so much... especially you, Ai. I'm not giving that up for anything.
She rolls the word around in her head, trying to discern the shape of it. It's still mostly a totally foreign concept. After all, she'd never known what having one was like until she'd gone and made her own and even now, she's still trying to figure things out. She knows, at least, that it means her and Aqua and Ruby... but it had never occurred to her that anyone else might fit as well. And she'd certainly never dreamed she'd fit into anyone else's.
Hoshino Ai doesn't fit in anywhere, after all. Not even the places she tries to make for herself.
But, here... with Kotone and Saitou and Miyako... there's a place for her and Aqua and Ruby. If she wants it.
Ai pulls in a breath. ]
... Then...
[ She turns her hand over so Kotone's hand can settle into it properly. ]
For now, is it okay if things stay like this? With you here with me and Aqua and Ruby. Where we come back home and talk about our days and we cook and laugh and... don't worry about anybody else. I didn't think I'd ever get to have something like it and now I've got it... I don't think I want to give it up either.
tagging back two months later to basically just end the thread. idk either
[ this time, she doesn't laugh. she barely breathes. the long silences are the hardest part of this, and as familiar as ai's tells can be, it's not as if kotone can read her thoughts. still, when ai finally starts to speak and turns her hand over? she lets her hand rest in ai's, stroking her thumb once across her palm as it settles into place, before squeezing. ]
That's more than okay. It's pretty much perfect. [ that, finally, gets the slightest huff outwards through her nose. ] Like I said, y'know? I'm not giving that up for anything.
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no subject
finally, she huffs out a wet chuckle, rubbing her eyes. none of this is funny, but— ]
... Ai, you—you really don't know how much you've already given me, do you? I... yeah, I feel the way I do, about you, but... [ the old honorific's gone. the comfort from wrapping this in their childhood dynamic is fraying fast. she trails off, closes her eyes, takes a breath. when she reopens them, she rests a hand on the back of ai's own. the words pour out like a steady rain. ]
If... if you ever think you can return it, I'll be here. Same if you decide you can't. Or if you're never sure. I'll be here no matter what. You, Saitou, Miyako, Ruby, Aqua, you're—you're all the closest thing I have to family. I owe you all so much... especially you, Ai. I'm not giving that up for anything.
no subject
She rolls the word around in her head, trying to discern the shape of it. It's still mostly a totally foreign concept. After all, she'd never known what having one was like until she'd gone and made her own and even now, she's still trying to figure things out. She knows, at least, that it means her and Aqua and Ruby... but it had never occurred to her that anyone else might fit as well. And she'd certainly never dreamed she'd fit into anyone else's.
Hoshino Ai doesn't fit in anywhere, after all. Not even the places she tries to make for herself.
But, here... with Kotone and Saitou and Miyako... there's a place for her and Aqua and Ruby. If she wants it.
Ai pulls in a breath. ]
... Then...
[ She turns her hand over so Kotone's hand can settle into it properly. ]
For now, is it okay if things stay like this? With you here with me and Aqua and Ruby. Where we come back home and talk about our days and we cook and laugh and... don't worry about anybody else. I didn't think I'd ever get to have something like it and now I've got it... I don't think I want to give it up either.
tagging back two months later to basically just end the thread. idk either
That's more than okay. It's pretty much perfect. [ that, finally, gets the slightest huff outwards through her nose. ] Like I said, y'know? I'm not giving that up for anything.