[ Her stomach churns a little. An anxious phantom pain, like a rotten nail, pulses in her stomach and almost unconsciously, a hand slides up to press into the spot. Stemming a long dried flow of blood, perhaps. Or reassuring herself of the absence of that gaping wound.
There hadn't been a scar. She'd made herself look for one when she first arrived. But she could find the spot without looking every time.
She's never admitted it to any of the rest of them. Not even Oberon. If she says it out loud, then it might make it real. And if this is just a dream and she's still bleeding out at the door with unseeing eyes, mouth dry and voice cracked-
Her fingers tighten into a fist, the fabric bunching in her grip. And yet, she's still smiling like nothing is wrong. ]
Fleeting, huh? When you put it like that, it sounds like you can't wait to get rid of me.
[ That got something out of her. Something deeply unpleasant, something that makes Oberon want to vomit, but he doesn't. Instead, he continues to grin. That infuriating submission in the face of harshness pissed him off, but this...
...he wants to see it crack, he wants to see that frustrating mask of lies shatter into a million pieces. What a hypocrite, right? Trying to force the truth out of another when he himself is incapable of speaking it. Too bad he doesn't give a shit whether it's hypocritical or not. ]
Hah, well isn't that obvious? I'd rather be anywhere but here, yet I stay out of the goodness of my heart.
[ Lie upon lie, to the point where even the truth becomes a lie, that is Oberon Vortigern. That he would contract with this woman, so disgustingly covered in lies from head to toe, wasn't a surprise in the slightest. ]
Does it frighten you, Master? Well, unfortunately, it's the truth. All dreams end, and are forgotten as soon as you awaken.
[ Her grip on the front of her shirt curls so tight that her knuckles turn white. It's the only outward show of distress, a necessary release of pressure that lets her keep that pretty as a picture smile in place. Her mouth tastes like rust. Somehow, she manages not to throw up. ]
I wouldn't say it scares me. If it does turn out to be some kind of dream, I'd be more impressed at how big my imagination is.
[ She laughs. It almost sounds normal. ]
But I guess it must be a little frustrating to be stuck with a Master like me. I barely even know what I'm doing. [ Her tone is light enough that it sounds like a joke but the substance of it, the apologetic self deprecation - that's all true. ] I can't really do magic and I definitely can't fight. Bringing home melonpan is pretty much all I can do, sorry!
[ Another laugh. Steadier and prettier than the last.
[ He doesn't even need his fae eyes to see through her now. Truly... what a handful of a woman, his Master is. ]
Yep, you're so frustrating I can't stand it, it's why I said you're a handful.
[ Her hand, adorned with the command seals, is so clearly trembling that he can't help but grin. If this is a dream, then it couldn't be clearer that she fears waking up. So he reaches forward with his clawed insect-like hand to take her trembling hand, a clawed finger tracing along the uniquely-purple butterfly-shaped command seal. ]
With that said, you are my Master. If you desire an endless dream, I suppose I'd have to oblige, now wouldn't I?
[ When his hand touches her, Ai doesn't do anything quite as damning as withdraw - an idol's hands are practically a public commodity, after all - but she way she freezes up is almost as telling. Once again, the alarm and caution of a well disciplined domestic animal.
For as friendly as they appear to be with each other in front of everyone else, she wonders if the others notice that they never touch. She wonders if Oberon's noticed just how stiff she suddenly is.
He hasn't been cruel. He hasn't been violent.
Yet. ]
You'd be stuck with me forever, then. [ The words shake out of her with the cadence of a laugh, but her voice is mirthless. ] Maybe we can work out a middle ground instead.
[ His hand... it's hardly a human hand. Devoid of warmth, covered in the carapace of a bug, with claws that could easily pierce a human's body more easily than any knife. Yet he holds her hand delicately, carefully avoiding the puncturing of skin on her stiffened hand.
His eyes gaze into hers, and by their very nature, pierce straight through... and with what Oberon sees, there's only one thought on his mind.
What a truly disgusting woman...
Yet now that her hand is in his, he finds himself unable to pull away.
If only he could tear the filth she's covered herself with off with his bare hands. ]
Well, why not? That's what idols are supposed to do in the first place.
[ She's still smiling but there's something a little frayed at the edges about it now. It's not a lie in the way 'Ai of B-Komachi' isn't strictly a lie - not unless you count lies of omission, anyway. ]
People know we're not real, but they come to see us anyway because they want to believe, even if it's only for a little bit. It's not exactly reality but it's not just a dream, is it? And if I'm good at anything, it's being an idol.
[ All she's ever known is lying, after all. That makes her perfectly suited for the job. ]
[ There it is again… idols. The liar’s profession. Maybe, in some sense of the word, Oberon himself is an idol. The Fairy King, jovial and mischievous, scheming but with good-intentions…
Oberon’s expression, which had been a perpetual grin, slowly falls… ]
An idol…
[ His hand slowly grips a little tighter. To hell with if it frightens her, if she’s really scared than she can use a command seal. ]
…how worthless.
[ He suddenly pulls her closer, yanking on her arm until her face is dangerously close to his own. ]
I never thought I'd say this, but what a truly worthless story you've written for yourself.
[ Yet if he's the one saying it, doesn't that make it a lie? ]
[ It happens so quick, Ai barely has time to register what's happening and has no time at all to control her expression. She jolts forward gracelessly with no resistance, in the manner of someone who knows better than to try and resist when someone hands their hands on them. Her eyes are wide, white-rimmed and her smile flags. She has one hand braced on the table to keep herself steady. She's so stiff under his touch, it's almost painful. The icy fear of a rabbit that's just spotted the bright eyes of a predator gleaming in the bush.
A second of quiet drags itself by. Then another. A lopsided smile slowly pulls itself into place on her face and a thin noise shakes out of her. It sounds like it's supposed to be a laugh.
Supposed to be. ]
Ah... c-compared to the others, it's not really that impressive, huh? Haha.
[ She did something wrong. Said something wrong. In her mind, she's scrambling to work out how to correct it. ]
[ It's unfuriating, she pisses him off so much, it feels like he's being driven insane. Even now, as she stiffens and looks up at him with a fear in her eyes that not even the brightest of stars could obscure... she lies.
And for a moment, for all of the frustration in his expression as he grips her hand tight enough to leave a mark on her fair and delicate skin, he looks pained. ]
Shut up. Stop talking. I can't stand the sound of your voice.
[ Stop talking. Stop being like this. There's only room for one liar here. ]
I can't stand you... what worth is there in such a lie...!
[ Alarm tinges the back of her throat with a coppery taste. Her heart's beating so hard she thinks that surely he, too, must be able to hear it. Or maybe he can feel it - the beat of her pulse in her wrist where his claws are digging into her skin. A cold bead of sweat slides down the back of her neck and chases the length of her spine.
She wants to apologize, but he'd told her not to speak. He says he can't stand her but he's stuck here with her, holding her tight enough to leave marks. She doesn't know what he wants and working that out so she can give it... that's all she's good for.
She swallows. She tries to hold his gaze but something in her own cracks and her eyes drop down to the table. ]
... sorry. [ It's so soft, uncharacteristically meek, it barely sounds like her. ] It's the only thing I really know how to do.
[ Infuriating. This woman does nothing but infuriate him, yet... as disgustingly meek as her voice has become, he knows it's not a lie. Part of that just infuriates him more, but... ]
...are you afraid of me, Master?
[ Cold blue eyes, as deep as the abyss, gaze through hers. His other hand, softer than the one marking her wrist, lifts up her chin so that she can't look away so easily. ]
[ A honeyed, ingratiating answer instinctively wells up in her throat but before it can ooze out of her mouth, she forces herself to swallow it. Fawning, doting words won't do any good here. But he's told her what he wants at last.
His eyes are so bright and cold. She's always wanted someone to see her for what she really is, but the way Oberon looks at her sometimes feels like she's being flayed to the bone.
It occurs to her for the first time just how much she hates it when he calls her Master.
Ai swallows. ]
... You're scaring me right now. But I'm not afraid of you.
[ A nonsensical, self defeating little answer. But somehow, it's not a lie. ]
[ If she gave voice to those thoughts about the way he looks at her, he would almost certainly let out a laugh before remarking that she'll "just have to deal with it".
Which is why, with those words... his grin returns. It's still as frustrating of an answer as ever, but. ]
Good. It still pisses me the hell off, but it'll do.
[ It wasn't disgusting, it didn't make him want to puke. His grip on her wrist loosens, having left a dark ring around her wrist, but otherwise unharmed. The hand on her chin moves up to trail a finger along her cheek. His smile is almost sadistic, but he's not hurting her anymore. ]
[ She draws her wrist close to her chest once it's free, loosely circled by her other hand. She knows even without having to look that it's going to bruise - which makes the touch to her face that much more disarming.
She feels wrong footed and unsure in all sorts of ways. She always does around Oberon but right now...
Well. She isn't being hurt. That's as much as someone like her can really ask for. ]
So I shouldn't lie to you. ... Is that what you want me to do?
[ It's the opposite of what she's always been told. She's not entirely sure she knows how to do it. ]
The last dregs of that alarm are still pulsing in her throat and her wrist hurts. She'd be all sorts of foolish to assume that's an empty threat - he's proven to be unpredictable from hour one - but something strikes her as strange.
He's repulsed, he says. He can barely stand her, apparently. But if he really hated her that much, then there'd be nothing to stop him just... getting rid of her and finding someone else to contract with. Sure, she has her command spells but if she was caught off guard, she knows full well who would win. It wouldn't even be a fight.
And yet it's not a threat to hurt her. It's a threat to frighten her. And while Ai might still be no good when it comes to reading anyone else's feelings, she knows better than anyone what the difference is there.
She swallows. She doesn't smile but the tense terror on her face eases into something gentler. ]
... I'll try. But lying really is all I know how to do. [ There, a smile - wonky and apologetic. ] So I might still mess up sometimes.
[ The insect of the abyss, the abyssal wyrm, the mors king... honestly, Ai Hoshino may as well have won an award for summoning the most problematic Servant. He sounds genuine, but not a single thing he says is true. It's no wonder Ai hasn't been able to read him. It doesn't help that his personality changes so drastically whenever he's out and about.
He scoffs at her words. A woman who doesn't know how to speak the truth, and an insect who can only speak lies. What a pair. ]
Hmph, go on. Whether I listen is another matter entirely, but by all means.
[ She forces herself to say it before she can lose her nerve... but then she goes ahead and loses her nerve a little anyway and hastens to soften her own request. ]
I-I mean... I know that's what I'm supposed to be and if that's what you have to call me, then that's different. But if we're stuck together, then I don't like the idea of bossing you around. It's not like you came and chose to be my Servant or anything.
[ She doesn't say it, but the subtext is loud and clear; who would? ]
You can just use my name or anything else that works but... "Master" just doesn't seem right.
[ It's not like Oberon can read minds. He sees through lies, sure... but that's not mind-reading. It's not like he knows what everyone is going to say. He's just good at reading people and figuring out what they'll do from there.
The point is... he wasn't expecting such a simple request. It actually very clearly catches him off-guard for a moment, blinking a few times in Ai's direction before finally... ]
Pfft... hah! That's all!?
[ Come on, woman, he was expecting you to ask something reasonable. Like "be less sloppy" or something. What? He wouldn't have listened to her if that was the request? Well, sure, but that's besides the point. (Is it? Is it, though?) ]
Hmph. What kind of Master wants their Servant to be informal?
[ More likely than you'd think, actually. He almost wants to keep calling her "Master" now, actually. See if he can get a rise out of her if he keeps calling her that for long enough. Get the meek little bunny to finally bite at the annoying insect that keeps bothering her.
...but ah, that might take a while, does he really feel like keeping it up? He only ever called her "master" sarcastically, after all. ]
Fine, I'll think about it...
[ Except suddenly, with an abnormal speed, Oberon is suddenly leaning over her again... putting his face uncomfortably close to hers just like before. ]
Ai...
[ ...and then going back to his lazy position on the couch just as quickly, not even giving Ai a chance to process what he just did... either the use of her name or his blatant disregard for her personal space. ]
[ Ah. She tenses up again, fingers tightening around the bruise at her wrist but that bone-deep animal fear doesn't show itself in her eyes this time. She's on edge, but there's something that looks a little like understanding on her face that softens the worst of it.
He's having fun with this, isn't he? Poking and prodding at her to get a response, like a little kid pulling pigtails. It's not exactly nice, but Ai knows how to handle someone trying to get a rise out of her much better than she does someone really trying to terrorise her.
A little breath flutters out of her, like she'd been holding it. Maybe it's relief. But what she does know is that hearing someone use her name, even someone like Oberon, makes her feel just a little more like herself. ]
It's not like you really think of me as a Master in the first place, right? So it's easier this way. You don't have to pretend.
[ Not that he ever really stops pretending. Maybe not even when he's like this. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
There hadn't been a scar. She'd made herself look for one when she first arrived. But she could find the spot without looking every time.
She's never admitted it to any of the rest of them. Not even Oberon. If she says it out loud, then it might make it real. And if this is just a dream and she's still bleeding out at the door with unseeing eyes, mouth dry and voice cracked-
Her fingers tighten into a fist, the fabric bunching in her grip. And yet, she's still smiling like nothing is wrong. ]
Fleeting, huh? When you put it like that, it sounds like you can't wait to get rid of me.
no subject
...he wants to see it crack, he wants to see that frustrating mask of lies shatter into a million pieces. What a hypocrite, right? Trying to force the truth out of another when he himself is incapable of speaking it. Too bad he doesn't give a shit whether it's hypocritical or not. ]
Hah, well isn't that obvious? I'd rather be anywhere but here, yet I stay out of the goodness of my heart.
[ Lie upon lie, to the point where even the truth becomes a lie, that is Oberon Vortigern. That he would contract with this woman, so disgustingly covered in lies from head to toe, wasn't a surprise in the slightest. ]
Does it frighten you, Master? Well, unfortunately, it's the truth. All dreams end, and are forgotten as soon as you awaken.
no subject
I wouldn't say it scares me. If it does turn out to be some kind of dream, I'd be more impressed at how big my imagination is.
[ She laughs. It almost sounds normal. ]
But I guess it must be a little frustrating to be stuck with a Master like me. I barely even know what I'm doing. [ Her tone is light enough that it sounds like a joke but the substance of it, the apologetic self deprecation - that's all true. ] I can't really do magic and I definitely can't fight. Bringing home melonpan is pretty much all I can do, sorry!
[ Another laugh. Steadier and prettier than the last.
But her hand is still shaking. ]
no subject
Yep, you're so frustrating I can't stand it, it's why I said you're a handful.
[ Her hand, adorned with the command seals, is so clearly trembling that he can't help but grin. If this is a dream, then it couldn't be clearer that she fears waking up. So he reaches forward with his clawed insect-like hand to take her trembling hand, a clawed finger tracing along the uniquely-purple butterfly-shaped command seal. ]
With that said, you are my Master. If you desire an endless dream, I suppose I'd have to oblige, now wouldn't I?
no subject
For as friendly as they appear to be with each other in front of everyone else, she wonders if the others notice that they never touch. She wonders if Oberon's noticed just how stiff she suddenly is.
He hasn't been cruel. He hasn't been violent.
Yet. ]
You'd be stuck with me forever, then. [ The words shake out of her with the cadence of a laugh, but her voice is mirthless. ] Maybe we can work out a middle ground instead.
no subject
His eyes gaze into hers, and by their very nature, pierce straight through... and with what Oberon sees, there's only one thought on his mind.
What a truly disgusting woman...
Yet now that her hand is in his, he finds himself unable to pull away.
If only he could tear the filth she's covered herself with off with his bare hands. ]
Hah. A middle ground? Between dreams and reality?
[ There's no such thing. ]
no subject
[ She's still smiling but there's something a little frayed at the edges about it now. It's not a lie in the way 'Ai of B-Komachi' isn't strictly a lie - not unless you count lies of omission, anyway. ]
People know we're not real, but they come to see us anyway because they want to believe, even if it's only for a little bit. It's not exactly reality but it's not just a dream, is it? And if I'm good at anything, it's being an idol.
[ All she's ever known is lying, after all. That makes her perfectly suited for the job. ]
no subject
Oberon’s expression, which had been a perpetual grin, slowly falls… ]
An idol…
[ His hand slowly grips a little tighter. To hell with if it frightens her, if she’s really scared than she can use a command seal. ]
…how worthless.
[ He suddenly pulls her closer, yanking on her arm until her face is dangerously close to his own. ]
I never thought I'd say this, but what a truly worthless story you've written for yourself.
[
Yet if he's the one saying it, doesn't that make it a lie?]no subject
A second of quiet drags itself by. Then another. A lopsided smile slowly pulls itself into place on her face and a thin noise shakes out of her. It sounds like it's supposed to be a laugh.
Supposed to be. ]
Ah... c-compared to the others, it's not really that impressive, huh? Haha.
[ She did something wrong. Said something wrong. In her mind, she's scrambling to work out how to correct it. ]
Maybe I just ended up here by mistake after all.
no subject
And for a moment, for all of the frustration in his expression as he grips her hand tight enough to leave a mark on her fair and delicate skin, he looks pained. ]
Shut up. Stop talking. I can't stand the sound of your voice.
[
Stop talking. Stop being like this. There's only room for one liar here.]I can't stand you... what worth is there in such a lie...!
no subject
She wants to apologize, but he'd told her not to speak. He says he can't stand her but he's stuck here with her, holding her tight enough to leave marks. She doesn't know what he wants and working that out so she can give it... that's all she's good for.
She swallows. She tries to hold his gaze but something in her own cracks and her eyes drop down to the table. ]
... sorry. [ It's so soft, uncharacteristically meek, it barely sounds like her. ] It's the only thing I really know how to do.
no subject
[ Infuriating. This woman does nothing but infuriate him, yet... as disgustingly meek as her voice has become, he knows it's not a lie. Part of that just infuriates him more, but... ]
...are you afraid of me, Master?
[ Cold blue eyes, as deep as the abyss, gaze through hers. His other hand, softer than the one marking her wrist, lifts up her chin so that she can't look away so easily. ]
Don't lie to me.
no subject
[ A honeyed, ingratiating answer instinctively wells up in her throat but before it can ooze out of her mouth, she forces herself to swallow it. Fawning, doting words won't do any good here. But he's told her what he wants at last.
His eyes are so bright and cold. She's always wanted someone to see her for what she really is, but the way Oberon looks at her sometimes feels like she's being flayed to the bone.
It occurs to her for the first time just how much she hates it when he calls her Master.
Ai swallows. ]
... You're scaring me right now. But I'm not afraid of you.
[ A nonsensical, self defeating little answer. But somehow, it's not a lie. ]
no subject
Which is why, with those words... his grin returns. It's still as frustrating of an answer as ever, but. ]
Good. It still pisses me the hell off, but it'll do.
[ It wasn't disgusting, it didn't make him want to puke. His grip on her wrist loosens, having left a dark ring around her wrist, but otherwise unharmed. The hand on her chin moves up to trail a finger along her cheek. His smile is almost sadistic, but he's not hurting her anymore. ]
There's only room for one liar here, Master.
no subject
She feels wrong footed and unsure in all sorts of ways. She always does around Oberon but right now...
Well. She isn't being hurt. That's as much as someone like her can really ask for. ]
So I shouldn't lie to you. ... Is that what you want me to do?
[ It's the opposite of what she's always been told. She's not entirely sure she knows how to do it. ]
no subject
The Oberon Experience:tm:]Yep. Your lies are disgusting, it makes me want to vomit. I don't care what you say out in public, but keep that filth out of my home.
[ "My home" he says as if Ai isn't the only one keeping it from becoming the messiest hellhole you could imagine. What an asshole. ]
Otherwise, well... you never know. I might get so mad that I'll give you a real reason to be afraid.
[
Frustratingly enough, he could never.]no subject
The last dregs of that alarm are still pulsing in her throat and her wrist hurts. She'd be all sorts of foolish to assume that's an empty threat - he's proven to be unpredictable from hour one - but something strikes her as strange.
He's repulsed, he says. He can barely stand her, apparently. But if he really hated her that much, then there'd be nothing to stop him just... getting rid of her and finding someone else to contract with. Sure, she has her command spells but if she was caught off guard, she knows full well who would win. It wouldn't even be a fight.
And yet it's not a threat to hurt her. It's a threat to frighten her. And while Ai might still be no good when it comes to reading anyone else's feelings, she knows better than anyone what the difference is there.
She swallows. She doesn't smile but the tense terror on her face eases into something gentler. ]
... I'll try. But lying really is all I know how to do. [ There, a smile - wonky and apologetic. ] So I might still mess up sometimes.
... But could you do something for me too?
no subject
He scoffs at her words. A woman who doesn't know how to speak the truth, and an insect who can only speak lies. What a pair. ]
Hmph, go on. Whether I listen is another matter entirely, but by all means.
no subject
[ She forces herself to say it before she can lose her nerve... but then she goes ahead and loses her nerve a little anyway and hastens to soften her own request. ]
I-I mean... I know that's what I'm supposed to be and if that's what you have to call me, then that's different. But if we're stuck together, then I don't like the idea of bossing you around. It's not like you came and chose to be my Servant or anything.
[ She doesn't say it, but the subtext is loud and clear; who would? ]
You can just use my name or anything else that works but... "Master" just doesn't seem right.
no subject
The point is... he wasn't expecting such a simple request. It actually very clearly catches him off-guard for a moment, blinking a few times in Ai's direction before finally... ]
Pfft... hah! That's all!?
[ Come on, woman, he was expecting you to ask something reasonable. Like "be less sloppy" or something. What? He wouldn't have listened to her if that was the request? Well, sure, but that's besides the point. (Is it? Is it, though?) ]
Hmph. What kind of Master wants their Servant to be informal?
[
More likely than you'd think, actually.He almost wants to keep calling her "Master" now, actually. See if he can get a rise out of her if he keeps calling her that for long enough. Get the meek little bunny to finally bite at the annoying insect that keeps bothering her....but ah, that might take a while, does he really feel like keeping it up? He only ever called her "master" sarcastically, after all. ]
Fine, I'll think about it...
[ Except suddenly, with an abnormal speed, Oberon is suddenly leaning over her again... putting his face uncomfortably close to hers just like before. ]
Ai...
[ ...and then going back to his lazy position on the couch just as quickly, not even giving Ai a chance to process what he just did... either the use of her name or his blatant disregard for her personal space. ]
no subject
He's having fun with this, isn't he? Poking and prodding at her to get a response, like a little kid pulling pigtails. It's not exactly nice, but Ai knows how to handle someone trying to get a rise out of her much better than she does someone really trying to terrorise her.
A little breath flutters out of her, like she'd been holding it. Maybe it's relief. But what she does know is that hearing someone use her name, even someone like Oberon, makes her feel just a little more like herself. ]
It's not like you really think of me as a Master in the first place, right? So it's easier this way. You don't have to pretend.
[ Not that he ever really stops pretending. Maybe not even when he's like this. ]
no subject
Ah, good, so you do get it. I guess you're not as much of a handful as I thought.
[ He picks up the cream pan that he had tossed aside and roughly bites into it, practically tearing a chunk of it off as he loudly chews. ]
Now go on, then. Leave me alone. I'm sure you'd rather be in the company of anyone else now, after all.