[ B-Komachi is not nearly as close-knit as they lead everyone to believe, and Kanade isn't so naive as to think otherwise when the facts are so clearly in her face. The gossip was typical of what you can expect from a group of young girls who are only hanging out because of obligations, and Kanade isn't immune to being the subject of it either. Confidence goes far, but not all the way.
Honestly as far as working environments go, it was one of the worst, though she'll hand it to the producer... he was doing his damn best regardless. There's not much you can really do, it's a struggle universal to any underground idol group.
Still, that should never mean one should just sit back and let it happen, right? For better or worse, Kanade has done her best to try and keep tensions low among the group like some sort of team mom. It didn't always work, she occasionally felt the urge to shake them violently whenever she heard a particularly selfish and/or unsympathetic point of view, but it was a necessary role to play.
Especially for the girl who played the role of their center... Hoshino Ai. When she first arrived, Kanade could tell what was going to happen right from the get-go. For better or worse, Ai was practically born to take the spotlight. She's attractive, she draws others in, she has a charisma to her that even had Kanade stunned.
Anyone with a brain could see the resulting jealousy. Hell, Kanade would be lying if she said she didn't feel it herself... but feeling jealous doesn't justify being a bitch, Kanade thinks.
Besides, call it a hunch, but... she never felt like Ai was as flawless as the image they give to the public. Her smile was practiced, Kanade even caught her practicing in front of a mirror once. She was a liar, and a really good one at that... so it's no wonder why she was such an incredible idol.
So... Kanade continued to do her best. Lord was it hard, though. The rest of the group was so fiercely jealous of Ai that Kanade herself started to face some backlash within the group from what they perceived as "defending" her. Not that they were wrong, but Kanade is pretty sure she was very justified in blowing her top at the girl who she caught cutting up Ai's old hoodie with a pair of scissors, among other things.
That girl got unceremoniously kicked off the group, and the complaints of favoritism intensified... but Kanade remembers grabbing Ai by the hand and dragging her off to get a replacement for her now-ruined hoodie, no ifs or buts... so at least one good thing could come out of this whole mess.
And well... a lot of things happened from there. To this day, Kanade still isn't quite sure if Ai has actually opened up to her, but in an environment rife with jealousy and teenage girls trying constantly to drag each other down... she tried to be a trustworthy presence in Ai's life, or at the very least one that she didn't have to worry about.
...what can Kanade say? When she looked at Ai, it just felt... necessary and right. Like some kind of maternal instinct kicking in when she looked at those eyes so blindingly bright she could barely see what was past them.
...so imagine her worry when she began to notice Ai seeming nauseous, or getting tired faster, and at one point even vomiting.
Imagine her distress when she stopped showing up entirely, was informed that she was taking a leave of absence due to health issues, and contact was dropped altogether. It was even more annoying when she was able to get in contact with the producer, only for him to skillfully dodge every question and swiftly retreat.
Still, until she got an answer, Kanade simply kept blowing up Ai's number on a daily basis. Sometimes it was demanding to know if she was okay, asking to see her, wishing her good health, and so on and so forth. She was committed, and she was stubborn, keeping it up for over twenty weeks without fail.
What can she say? She'll never feel at ease until she can confirm Ai's health with her own eyes. ]
[ Twenty weeks is a really long time. Ai's pretty sure she knows that better than anyone by now.
It's not like she's hated being in Miyazaki or anything. It's nostalgic - it reminds her of her hometown and her first tour with B-Komachi all at once and the result is something that stirs bittersweetly in her chest. The doctors are all kind, even the one who recognized her and even though Prez Saitou can't be here, Ai's not exactly alone.
Of course, that doesn't mean she's not lonely.
She's read every single one of Kanade's messages. She never answers any calls, but she can't help but read all the messages she sends through. She has more half-finished text drafts than she's ever had in her life but she can't bring herself to send any of them. What Kanade wants, after all, is the truth. She wants to know why Ai has vanished. But that's the one thing Ai can't give her.
It isn't until twenty-two weeks on the dot - the evening of the night before she's due to return to Tokyo with Aqua and Ruby - that Ai finally figures out what to do. She sneaks her cell phone out of her luggage and fibs to Saitou that she wants a bit of air up on the roof and to enjoy the view one last time before she leaves. He's so frazzled he doesn't even question it and off she goes. It's quiet enough up there that Ai has enough space to breathe and think and really stew in what a bad idea this is.
And then she decides to do it anyway. Before she can lose her nerve again, she scrolls down to Kanade's name in her contacts and hits call. ]
[ If only Ai could see the way Kanade reacted to Ai's call. At this point, while she was still stubbornly trying to get in contact, the idea that Ai would finally call her was the last possibility on Kanade's mind.
So when she casually pulled her phone out to see "Ai-chan" as the caller...
"WH—"
She was caught so off-guard that she practically dropped her phone and spent a good few seconds fumbling with it while it rang. Fortunately, she does manage to catch it, and after a few rings of the phone... ]
Click
A-AI!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!? ARE YOU OKAY!????
[ She's in for a noise complaint if she keeps this up, but she doesn't particularly care at the moment. ]
[ Good thing she pre-emptively held the phone away from her ear.......... ]
Whoa, Kanade-chan! You've really been working on your projection while I was away!
[ Satisfied she's not going to get her eardrums blown out, Ai risks returning the phone to her ear and - laughs. Laughs like this is a totally normal talk and she hasn't been completely off the grid for months and months.
She needs this to be normal. If she pretends everything is A-OK the maybe she won't ask too many questions. ]
I'm doing good! The Prez let you all know I was fine, right? How's everything back in B-Komachi? Any juicy gossip I missed out on?
"Fine" my ass! How am I supposed to not worry when he doesn't tell us anything! It's been months, girl! I tried pressuring him, but he just ran!
[ Ugh... still, she does understand that she should stop yelling, so she stops to take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. She's letting out all of her bottled-up stress, sure, but the feeling of relief at hearing Ai's voice after all this time is there too. ]
Ugh... don't even get me started on the gossip. Seriously, can those girls please get a hobby outside of that? I am begging them to stop giving me shit to deal with when we're not even doing anything huge.
[ Kanade is notably more foul-mouthed when in her own privacy, huh? Wait, is Ai trying to change the subject? Shit, she almost fell for it... ]
Seriously, where the hell have you been? I was starting to think you might've been kidnapped! Or maybe you ditched us completely and Prez was on some kind of secret manhunt for you... seriously, what kind of health concerns gets you to go completely radio silent for months!?
[ Her imagination also might've gone a little wild, but can you really blame her? She was worried and that didn't really dissipate over time, so. ]
Oh, come on. You know it'd be all over the news everywhere if I got kidnapped. As if the Prez would pass up the chance for some free advertisement like that!
[ She has the gall to laugh. In general, her energy is all off and she knows it - she's acting like she unexpected skipped out on practice over a single weekend instead of disappearing for almost half a year. But if she acknowledges that, it'll be a lot less easy to keep Kanade off her scent. ]
But the thing is... well, I can't tell you just yet since I'm not back in Tokyo until tomorrow. Security, you know? But I've been in the countryside for a while.
[ A pause. Deep breath. The oily guilt of a lie bubbles in her stomach in anticipation. ]
[ She can't imagine he'd be thinking of publicity in a scenario that serious. Still, this still begs the question as to why she was off the grid for this long... ]
The countryside...? What, does he not trust big city hospitals or... something...
[ Her overactive imagination aside, what she just said... now that she said it out loud, it sounds a lot more feasible than anything else she's thought of. Was it really something that needed to be kept a secret so badly? You'd expect at least some online presence to assure the fans that you're okay, but...
...the gears are turning in Kanade's head, but the answer still isn't occurring to her. She's sharper than her brusque demeanor implies, how else was she able to survive in this group? ]
...Well, as long as you're okay, I guess. I'm taking you out to eat once you're back, though, got it!? You and me, incognito, none of the other girl's bullshit.
[ A pause... ]
...I was seriously worried, y'know? Leaving because of health issues and then never hearing from you again, I...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
B-Komachi AU
Honestly as far as working environments go, it was one of the worst, though she'll hand it to the producer... he was doing his damn best regardless. There's not much you can really do, it's a struggle universal to any underground idol group.
Still, that should never mean one should just sit back and let it happen, right? For better or worse, Kanade has done her best to try and keep tensions low among the group like some sort of team mom. It didn't always work, she occasionally felt the urge to shake them violently whenever she heard a particularly selfish and/or unsympathetic point of view, but it was a necessary role to play.
Especially for the girl who played the role of their center... Hoshino Ai. When she first arrived, Kanade could tell what was going to happen right from the get-go. For better or worse, Ai was practically born to take the spotlight. She's attractive, she draws others in, she has a charisma to her that even had Kanade stunned.
Anyone with a brain could see the resulting jealousy. Hell, Kanade would be lying if she said she didn't feel it herself... but feeling jealous doesn't justify being a bitch, Kanade thinks.
Besides, call it a hunch, but... she never felt like Ai was as flawless as the image they give to the public. Her smile was practiced, Kanade even caught her practicing in front of a mirror once. She was a liar, and a really good one at that... so it's no wonder why she was such an incredible idol.
So... Kanade continued to do her best. Lord was it hard, though. The rest of the group was so fiercely jealous of Ai that Kanade herself started to face some backlash within the group from what they perceived as "defending" her. Not that they were wrong, but Kanade is pretty sure she was very justified in blowing her top at the girl who she caught cutting up Ai's old hoodie with a pair of scissors, among other things.
That girl got unceremoniously kicked off the group, and the complaints of favoritism intensified... but Kanade remembers grabbing Ai by the hand and dragging her off to get a replacement for her now-ruined hoodie, no ifs or buts... so at least one good thing could come out of this whole mess.
And well... a lot of things happened from there. To this day, Kanade still isn't quite sure if Ai has actually opened up to her, but in an environment rife with jealousy and teenage girls trying constantly to drag each other down... she tried to be a trustworthy presence in Ai's life, or at the very least one that she didn't have to worry about.
...what can Kanade say? When she looked at Ai, it just felt... necessary and right. Like some kind of maternal instinct kicking in when she looked at those eyes so blindingly bright she could barely see what was past them.
...so imagine her worry when she began to notice Ai seeming nauseous, or getting tired faster, and at one point even vomiting.
Imagine her distress when she stopped showing up entirely, was informed that she was taking a leave of absence due to health issues, and contact was dropped altogether. It was even more annoying when she was able to get in contact with the producer, only for him to skillfully dodge every question and swiftly retreat.
Still, until she got an answer, Kanade simply kept blowing up Ai's number on a daily basis. Sometimes it was demanding to know if she was okay, asking to see her, wishing her good health, and so on and so forth. She was committed, and she was stubborn, keeping it up for over twenty weeks without fail.
What can she say? She'll never feel at ease until she can confirm Ai's health with her own eyes. ]
no subject
It's not like she's hated being in Miyazaki or anything. It's nostalgic - it reminds her of her hometown and her first tour with B-Komachi all at once and the result is something that stirs bittersweetly in her chest. The doctors are all kind, even the one who recognized her and even though Prez Saitou can't be here, Ai's not exactly alone.
Of course, that doesn't mean she's not lonely.
She's read every single one of Kanade's messages. She never answers any calls, but she can't help but read all the messages she sends through. She has more half-finished text drafts than she's ever had in her life but she can't bring herself to send any of them. What Kanade wants, after all, is the truth. She wants to know why Ai has vanished. But that's the one thing Ai can't give her.
It isn't until twenty-two weeks on the dot - the evening of the night before she's due to return to Tokyo with Aqua and Ruby - that Ai finally figures out what to do. She sneaks her cell phone out of her luggage and fibs to Saitou that she wants a bit of air up on the roof and to enjoy the view one last time before she leaves. He's so frazzled he doesn't even question it and off she goes. It's quiet enough up there that Ai has enough space to breathe and think and really stew in what a bad idea this is.
And then she decides to do it anyway. Before she can lose her nerve again, she scrolls down to Kanade's name in her contacts and hits call. ]
no subject
So when she casually pulled her phone out to see "Ai-chan" as the caller...
"WH—"
She was caught so off-guard that she practically dropped her phone and spent a good few seconds fumbling with it while it rang. Fortunately, she does manage to catch it, and after a few rings of the phone... ]
Click
A-AI!!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!? ARE YOU OKAY!????
[ She's in for a noise complaint if she keeps this up, but she doesn't particularly care at the moment. ]
no subject
Whoa, Kanade-chan! You've really been working on your projection while I was away!
[ Satisfied she's not going to get her eardrums blown out, Ai risks returning the phone to her ear and - laughs. Laughs like this is a totally normal talk and she hasn't been completely off the grid for months and months.
She needs this to be normal. If she pretends everything is A-OK the maybe she won't ask too many questions. ]
I'm doing good! The Prez let you all know I was fine, right? How's everything back in B-Komachi? Any juicy gossip I missed out on?
no subject
[ Ugh... still, she does understand that she should stop yelling, so she stops to take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. She's letting out all of her bottled-up stress, sure, but the feeling of relief at hearing Ai's voice after all this time is there too. ]
Ugh... don't even get me started on the gossip. Seriously, can those girls please get a hobby outside of that? I am begging them to stop giving me shit to deal with when we're not even doing anything huge.
[
Kanade is notably more foul-mouthed when in her own privacy, huh?Wait, is Ai trying to change the subject? Shit, she almost fell for it... ]Seriously, where the hell have you been? I was starting to think you might've been kidnapped! Or maybe you ditched us completely and Prez was on some kind of secret manhunt for you... seriously, what kind of health concerns gets you to go completely radio silent for months!?
[ Her imagination also might've gone a little wild, but can you really blame her? She was worried and that didn't really dissipate over time, so. ]
no subject
[ She has the gall to laugh. In general, her energy is all off and she knows it - she's acting like she unexpected skipped out on practice over a single weekend instead of disappearing for almost half a year. But if she acknowledges that, it'll be a lot less easy to keep Kanade off her scent. ]
But the thing is... well, I can't tell you just yet since I'm not back in Tokyo until tomorrow. Security, you know? But I've been in the countryside for a while.
[ A pause. Deep breath. The oily guilt of a lie bubbles in her stomach in anticipation. ]
At a hospital the President recommended.
no subject
[ She can't imagine he'd be thinking of publicity in a scenario that serious. Still, this still begs the question as to why she was off the grid for this long... ]
The countryside...? What, does he not trust big city hospitals or... something...
[ Her overactive imagination aside, what she just said... now that she said it out loud, it sounds a lot more feasible than anything else she's thought of. Was it really something that needed to be kept a secret so badly? You'd expect at least some online presence to assure the fans that you're okay, but...
...the gears are turning in Kanade's head, but the answer still isn't occurring to her. She's sharper than her brusque demeanor implies, how else was she able to survive in this group? ]
...Well, as long as you're okay, I guess. I'm taking you out to eat once you're back, though, got it!? You and me, incognito, none of the other girl's bullshit.
[ A pause... ]
...I was seriously worried, y'know? Leaving because of health issues and then never hearing from you again, I...
[ She sniffs. ]
...I was fearin' the worst, y'know?